i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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