i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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