jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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