so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
