Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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