I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
