we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
