So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
