great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
