i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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