Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
