dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
