I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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