Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
