I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize