Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
