I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
