toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
