bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
