what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
