I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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