took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
