thus making me awesome and them whores
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
