oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
