I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize