And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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