You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
