she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
