I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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