You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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