so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
