dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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