If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
