We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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