ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
