You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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