your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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