do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
