brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
