Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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