You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
