The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize