In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize