return my video game
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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