I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
