Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
if you like me you must not know who I am
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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