everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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