why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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