its not stalking. its research.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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