I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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