what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize