i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
