you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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