called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
