she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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