so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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