so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
