Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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