$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
