Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize